The squirrel is sitting at a computer, browing the Internet. Standing next to him is Justin McDowell.
Wait a minute, there's been thirty-three miners stuck underground for over two months?! How have I not heard of this?
I'm guessing you're over-relying on Twitter for news.
How have they been staying alive? Food, air, etc?
They've been getting meals, air, water and even soccer game recordings via a four inch wide tube.
Really? Gee, I wish someone would send me a sandwich through tubes.
Heck, they even sent videos up the tube. Here, let me pull one up on the web.
Tubes. Ted Stevens was finally right.
Why won't this page load?! Frigging cable! There is nothing like a service that guarantees its fastest speed but not its slowest.
I think the miners a half-mile underground have a faster net connection than you do.